Love-episode

2012-02-14T23:11:00.002+11:00

Happy Valentines day.

Today, I woke up and...Drove to Macquarie to enroll, walked in the rain, drove to a florist, decided that the flowers were too fucking expensive, drove to Repco, figured they had really shitty customer service, got home, ate, slept, ate, drove to Tom's rah rah rah. I can't be bothered.

Day 273: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1 What am I doing?

2 How much battery does my phone have?

3 Is this hunger pain or is there something wrong with me?

4 Insert craving for strange food.

5 Where is my phone?

6 I'm tired.

7 Why am I alive?

Day 274: Six things you love.

1 Cake, cake, cake and more cake.

2 The number 523.

3 Diamonds.

4 Stuffed toy animals.

5 Heels x 999999999999999.

6 The smell of soap and cleanliness.

2012-02-12T20:25:00.001+11:00

Day 272: What was the worst thing to happen to you in middle school?

By middle school, does that mean high school? Because even then I wouldn't know.

2012-02-11T23:20:00.003+11:00

Day 268: An overused saying?
Ummmmm........ I don't know.

Day 269: How are you similar to and different from the majority of Tumblr users?
I don't know, we're all the same aren't we?

Day 270: What would your dream house/apartment/castle/tree house/loft/bungalow/etc. look like?
Pretty, just pretty. It has to have a backyard.

Day 271: Who makes your happier than anyone else?

Tom Yan.

So today I bought my boyfriend a teddy bear to say 'CONGRATS ON FINALLY PASSING YOUR P'S'. It's really soft and furry and I want to keep it. Insert sadface.

2012-02-07T00:23:00.002+11:00

Day 264: How are you wearing your hair?

Plaited.

Day 265: Post a picture of your outfit, or explain it.

I ceebs, I was probably wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

Day 266: An old song you still like.

Ummmmm

Day 267: When you’ve had a terrible day, how do you deal with it?

You eat ice-cream, a lot of it.

Sophiya, thank you.

2012-02-03T23:19:00.002+11:00

Day 260: List your five favorite songs.

Mechanic of your heart - Loick Essien

Titanium - David Guetta Feat. Sia

Breakeven - The Script

Only hope - Mandy Moore

Lights off - Jay Sean

Day 261: List what you did/plan to do today.

I woke up at Tom's, got changed and ready, went to work, sat there for 9 hours and got paid. Tom and Dan came by, went home.

Day 262: List your favorite stores.

I don't know, too many,

Day 263: List how you did your make up today.

Black eyeshadow, eyeliner. Really light smokey eyes.

I have long black/brown hair now. Ya jelly?

2012-01-30T23:58:00.002+11:00

Day 256: List five things you want to say to ten different people at this moment.

1 Fuck

2 you

3 little

4 bitches

5 lol

Day 257: List five good things about your life.

1 I

2 can't

3 be

4 fucking

5 bothered

Day 258: List five bad things about your life.

1 N

2 o

3 t

4 h

5 ing

Day 259: List your family members and how they help you daily.

Dad, mum, sister, brother, dog. How they help? In too many ways.

Yeah, sorry I've been doing it for 250 days, I really can't be fucked anymore.

Also, this is a list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself.

(Ahem, found somewhere online from StumbleUpon)

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

2012-01-27T22:03:00.003+11:00

Day 254: List your five favorite foods.

Day 255: List your five favorite drinks.

It's too hard to chose 5 favorites.

2012-01-25T20:40:00.003+11:00

Day 252: List five things that make you happy.

I remember Sophiya telling me to make a list of 30 things I like a while back. So here's the list, with 5 things that make me happy bolded.

1 The blue sky with soft clouds.
2 New, freshly sharpened 2B pencils.
3 Fire engine red nail polish.
4 Sleeping in parks while it's raining.5 Grape flavored anything.
6 Flat notes of money.
7 Hand written letters to and from people.
8 Flat whites with 2 and a half teaspoons

of sugar.
9 Dust free environments.
10 Half smiles.
11 Powerful female vocals.
12 The sound of a car engine.13 Natural green eyes.
14 Origami paper cranes.
15 When people ask 'How was your day?'

16 The feeling of accomplishment when you crack an egg.
17 The name Kai.
18 Meaningful tattoos.
19 Close up photographs of giraffes.
20 When my parents smile.
21 My 2 meter long scarf knitted by my mum.
22 Colour coordination.
23 Wooden furniture where you can see the patterns of the wood.
24 Cursive fonts.
25 The smell of soap.
26 When people type with correct punctua

tion, grammar and spelling.
27 Singing christmas carols.
28 The smell of old books.
29 When people smile from anonymous messages you know you wrote to them.
30 Tom.

Day 253: List five things that make you sad.

1 When I overcook noodles and they go soggy.

2 Soaked shoes from the rain.

3 No orange juice in the fridge.

4 Broken nails and chipping nail polish.

5 Lists that only let me list 5 things.

And a late Happy Chinese new year.

2012-01-23T19:16:00.001+11:00

Day 251: What inspires you to write?

Umm I don't write.

2012-01-22T16:02:00.002+11:00

I'm just jealous.

Day 249: If you died tomorrow... would you want to tell anyone anything?
Nope, you're all whores.

Day 250: Write a short love story.

Lol, no.

2012-01-21T01:57:00.000+11:00

I need a little

2012-01-21T00:14:00.000+11:00

Screw everyone who's going to USYD and UNSW.

2012-01-20T09:36:00.000+11:00

Day 248: Who do you text most?

Tom and Sophiya.

2012-01-19T00:21:00.004+11:00

Day 244: A picture taken recently.
Lol, sorry I don't have any.

Day 245: What is the compliment you get most, what is the compliment you give most?
I don't get complimented and I don't know.

Day 246: Who are you?
Chuck Norris, bitch.

Day 247: Your opinion on drinking/drugs.
I don't really care as long as it's not me.

So, I got into B Science - Psychology at Macquarie. Claps for me.

2012-01-15T18:35:00.003+11:00

Day 243: What is the last thing you baked?

A chocolate cake decorated with togepi on it.

This is Tom's car. He already loves it more than me.

2012-01-14T19:04:00.002+11:00

Day 241: What name would your parents have named you if you were the opposite sex? Did they have a list of names for you?

Norris works both ways for male or female, and no they didn't.

Day 242: 10 most significant events in your life.

1 - 10, clearly not significant enough for me to be typing about them.

I drove on the roads for the first time today, and only got beeped at once.

2012-01-12T02:12:00.002+11:00

I love Tangled.

2012-01-12T01:18:00.001+11:00

Day 240: What does your name mean according to urban dictionary? Were you named after anyone in your family, or does your name mean something special to your parents?

According to Urbandictonary.com it means:

- (to pull a)(N) something believed impossible. Originated from Chuck Norris and his God-like stature.
- Another word for the male genitalia, in other words a PENIS!!!
- A certain Particular feeling that one can get sent into by rage or skill. Only one man has ever gone "norris" of course this being Chuck Norris
- Girl who is great in bed and loves to have fun all night long.
- Norris was born and raised in Saskatchewan. This means she can drink beer like it’s water, fix anything with duct tape and wire, and carries a knife in her car. CAUTION: Skills include the ability to accidentally break/ruin/destroy random objects or bring self-harm by not living in reality.
- To bail out on plans with family or friends because of completely unrelated matters.
Past tense - Norrised
- A last name that not only gets you loved by all your teachers by calling you chuck but nobody would ever want to start a fight with you because of your fearful last name!
- a young girl who's face resembles chuck norris so much that she gets the nick name norris
- To be extremely angry and annoyed.
Actually has no relation to the stupid Chuck Norris obsession, but was actually the interpretation of a 4 year old trying to say that she was "annoyed".

My name means nothing and clearly nothing to my parents either.

2012, why are you already so fucked up?

2012-01-10T19:41:00.002+11:00

Day 237: Who from Full house do you relate to most?

I don't know what Full house is?

Day 238: Who/what can’t you live without?

Oxygen.

Day 239: Have you changed in the past 200 days?

Probably.

I like stingrays.

2012-01-09T01:31:00.000+11:00

I don't want to be alive.

2012-01-08T17:05:00.002+11:00

I want to crawl inside my fridge like this dog. I hate Summer.

2012-01-08T02:43:00.002+11:00

Day 235: if your six year old self looked at you now, what would their reaction be?

'YOU GOT TALLER'

Day 236: What was your most memorable summer?

I don't know.

Yesterday, I got woken up at 3AM to pick up a drunk boyfriend from the city and take him home.

Today (08/01/12) is our (official) 6 months.

This is my baby, and I love him to pieces, bed-hair and all ♥

2012-01-06T00:23:00.001+11:00

Day 232: List the movies you’ll never get sick of watching.

Beauty and the beast.

Day 233: What is the most quotable movie... list a few of your favorite quotes?

Every, fucking, Disney, movie. HAKUNA MATATA

Day 234: Favorite song as a ten year old?

I have no idea.

Why is my body so fucked up.

2012-01-03T22:04:00.002+11:00

Day 230: What is your favorite memory from before the school age?

Bike rides in the park with my cousins,

Day 231: What were your thoughts enter pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, and high school?

Pre-school: Never went.

Kindergarten: I don't like the smell of play-dough.

Middle school: Is that primary school for us?

High school: Fuck.

Day 232: How was your last year in school? Which grade level was it?

Year 12, it was shit.

2012-01-01T14:18:00.000+11:00

I'm cutting it short for this year's 'End of year post'.

Dear 2011,

You've been a load of crap.

Sincerely,

pissed off bitch

Hahaha...I'm just kidding.

I don't know what to say about the past year.

Dear 2011,

You've showed me that I can fuck up when I'm not even trying to.

Thank you Board of Studies, thank you so much.

It's okay, in the past year I've gotten better.

1) I beat 4 years of depression.

2) I beat 2 years of insomnia.

3) And I'm anxiety free.

All it took was a month and a half of meds, about $2000 in psychologist bills, a will to get better and for someone to tell me to take it all 'Day by day', 'One thing at a time'.

That's all I need.

So, thank you - To my family and Tom for the support and care.

I'm about to shower and head to a family gathering with about 5-10 families. So I'll cut my yesterday short - As in I watched the fireworks with my boyfriend.

I'll do the dedication crap next time, when I'm bothered.

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000+11:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2012, BRING IT

2011-12-29T22:09:00.000+11:00

500/1000 pieces done!

2011-12-28T16:31:00.003+11:00

I'm about 250/1000 pieces done.

I want to go out.

2011-12-27T11:25:00.002+11:00

Yesterday I went Boxing day shopping with Tom, he bought 2 shirts and 2 singlets, and didn't wear the shoes I bought him, but instead wore the old worn out Rabens he owns.

I bought myself $50 worth of clothes online from Westfield. They made it so that you can pay for your stuff online with the gift-card. Did. Not. Know. You. Could. Do. That. And it's all getting mailed to me soooon, with free delivery, yay.

Also last night, I got to see someone I haven't seen in about a year. It occurred to me they look exactly the same from the last time I saw them.

And a family friend got my brother a 1000 piece puzzle, which I've claimed as my own.

INSERT SMILE.

2011-12-25T00:01:00.001+11:00

2011-12-24T13:57:00.004+11:00

Merry Christmas Eve.

Day 222: What are you craving right now?

Right now? Maccas or something unhealthy.

Day 223: Bad habits of yours.

I'm paranoid and I go to extremes to find out things I shouldn't know.

And I'm just going to quickly do all the rest for this year up until the 31ST, just because I'm a ball of love and joy and I probably will be for the next week so I won't be bothered to do it all. I'm also preparing for my end of year post, jokes it's just a few paragraphs this time.

Day 224: A letter to your eight year old self.

Dear eight year old self,
Don't ever try and cut your hair by yourself, not that you didn't the next year. But the fringe was horrible, don't try and look like asian
celebrities you see in newspapers.

Day 225: What is the most inspirational thing you have ever heard?

Ummm...I'm not really sure how to answer this, but go watch Nick Vujicic on youtube.

Day 226: Next present holiday wish list.

Seeing as I'm doing this on Christmas eve, can I just do my wish-list for Christmas? Yes? I was going to anyway.

White/silver Swarovski Pen

Silver or White gold necklace with 'N' on it

Smokey eyes Eye shadow palette

Set of water colour paints

GHD Hair straightener

Day 227: A letter to the reflection in the mirror.

I don't see how this even makes sense.

Day 228: List ten people you would die for.

Really? Just 10? Cause my list includes - Family, extended family, family friends, close friends, friends and lastly, boyfriend.

Day 229: Write a letter to the person you’re closest to.

Hey Tom,
Remember the day we first met? Remember all those times we met up at Eastwood and all those talks while lying on my bed staring at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Remember when we jokingly married each other on Facebook? And remember the day we woke up and you took out a ring then asked me 'Do you want to make this real?'...

2011-12-23T16:01:00.001+11:00

Day 221: A photography picture taken by you.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. (He woke up at 9AM to get a coke with my name printed on it, and for him 9AM after HSC is worse than 7AM during school)

And oh god, look at my eyebags. I need to get more sleep.

2011-12-22T17:58:00.001+11:00

Christmas shopping with Beto today. He's adorably sweet when it comes to family.

No one in my family reads this so, I got my sister a mug with cats on it, and my dad a frame which I'm going to put in a drawing and another frame for a family photo for the house.

I'm still looking for Tom's present SADFACE.

2011-12-22T00:04:00.003+11:00

Day 219: A talent you have.

No talents, sorry.

Day 220: A picture that makes you smile.

2011-12-20T17:49:00.002+11:00

Day 217: A letter to someone who you used to be close to.

Hey Chun, do you still remember me and all those times you called me when you were drunk and those Saturday nights together at Chatswood with Vincent and whoever after Prior?

Day 218: A letter to someone you judged by first impression.

I can't think of a person, sorry.

I'm pretending to be a stingray.

i.e. I'm lying on my bed being flat and lazy.

Countdown to Christmas: 5 Days

2011-12-18T13:45:00.001+11:00

Day 216: List of some of your favorite tumblrs.

Lol, no.

Dinner with the cousins and family friends. Then fireworks at NR Common with the boyfriend, hopefully. Insert smile.

2011-12-17T13:24:00.003+11:00

Day 213: The person closest to your heart. How do you know them?
I'd say my parents, but you're sick of that. I'd say Tom, but he's on here too often. So next up is Daniel Yu. He stalked me down and asked someone for my number in year 7, when he was in year 8.

Day 214: What are your feelings on gay marriage?
I have no feelings about it.

Day 215: A letter to your crush.

I don't have a crush, I have a boyfriend.

There's an injured cockroach roaming my house. I don't feel happy sleeping knowing that it tanked a blow to the head with a tissue box by an angry 17 year old. Also I'm sad that we don't have a christmas tree, or any decorations.

Countdown to christmas: 8 days

2011-12-16T15:51:00.002+11:00

I don't understand you. It breaks my heart.

2011-12-16T02:15:00.000+11:00

Brb, dying.

2011-12-14T13:38:00.003+11:00

Day 211: A picture of you and your best friend.

Boyfriend, and best friend.

Day 212: One person you know you can trust?

Keith Lee, deadset.

Hello 80 ATAR.

2011-12-13T22:27:00.001+11:00

I've been watching Kim possible and just finished the first season, I miss being a kid. Also, good luck to all the 2011 year 12's waiting for their HSC results right now.

I'm just sitting here painfully eating chocolate to stop myself from exploding.

2011-12-12T14:43:00.001+11:00

Day 210: In a nutshell, what is your daily routine?

Wake up, eat, computer, sleep.

Dinner with the boyfriend tonight ♥

2011-12-11T16:04:00.001+11:00

Day 208: Tell us about your family.

They're amazing.

Day 209: What do you remember most about last winter?
It was cold.

I hate being female.

2011-12-09T18:28:00.000+11:00

Day 189: List everything you like about yourself, and explain why. What makes you unique?

List everything, really? Good joke. I'm unique because no one has the same DNA as I do.

Day 190: Put your ipod or mp3 player on shuffle and list the first ten songs/artists. How did you find the music?

Day 191: Are you excited for anything right now?

Nothing really.

Day 192: Summer or winter? Why?

Winter, because Summer makes it feel like I'm living in a sauna.

Day 193: What are you doing for the next big holiday. (i.e. Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover..)

Next holiday is Christmas. I'M GETTING A CHRISTMAS TREE YEW.

Day 194: What did you do today?
I don't remember.

Day 195: Have you ever had braces/will you ever need braces?

Never had braces, but I want them so that my teeth look a little nicer.

Day 196: What is one thing you regret doing?

Nothing, no regrets.

Day 197: Do you have a set out path for your future yet?

No.

Day 198: A picture taken over ten years ago.

My scanner refuses to work, but if you come over I'll happily show you the hundreds of photos my parents took of me when I was little.

Day 199: What is the last book you read, why did you read it?

To be honest, I don't actually remember.

Day 200: Whatever suits your fancy.( a picture, random facts, what you did today, your plans for tomorrow)

Day 201: What are your plans for tomorrow?
I don't know.

Day 202: What did you do last saturday?
I don't remember.

Day 203: What is the last thing you had to save your money for?
I can't remember

Day 204: Do you have a job, if so, where?

I don't have a job.

Day 205: Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
No because it takes more than 2 seconds to get to know someone.

Day 206: what’s your favorite band?
I don't have one.

Day 207: Have you ever cried in a movie? Which?
Yes, and I don't remember.

China was a mess of people and ninja drivers.
I don't like it there.

2011-11-21T18:51:00.002+11:00

I'll be in China from 22nd Nov to 6th Dec.

2011-11-20T17:01:00.001+11:00

Day 187: Post a picture of yourself, taken today, and five random facts about yourself.

Sorry, my webcam refuses to work.

1 I like the smell of nail polish.

2 I can't stand the sound of cutlery hitting each other.

3 I really like orange juice.

4 I am the same height as my boyfriend.

5 I've never been heavier than 50 Kg.

Day 188: What are you always carrying around with you?
My phone.

Caught up with the cousin today, I've missed her.

2011-11-18T02:19:00.002+11:00

Day 186: Have you ever made a time capsule? If yes, with who, do you remember what you put inside? If not, what would you put inside if you had to put something in right now?

I have no idea if I have, and if I had to put something in one right now it'd be everything I keep in my Darrel Lea chocolate tin in my table.

I also own 22 pairs of chopsticks. I'm such a sad human being.

2011-11-17T04:29:00.001+11:00

17th Day 185: Where will you be in ten years?

Married to Tom and a MILF with kids in giraffe costumes. Yes, I have that much faith in us.

"At birth, a person's heart is as smooth as an egg. A heart may grow many thorns, it may grow more and more thorns throughout life, but as more thorns grow, one day there will be so many, the heart will become smooth and round again. Truely, that's what will happen. Everything will be okay."

2011-11-16T18:08:00.004+11:00

Day 184: When you think of your best friend, what is your first memory? How did you meet them? Explain him/her.

1) Tom Yan.

I met him at a someone's 18th. I had friends that some how got their way in and decided to take me with them. He's told me many times about why he was there, but I don't actually remember. My first memories of him are, awkwardly staring at him thinking he was someone else, believing that he was 12, sitting on a couch reading abo jokes, and falling off the couch in the morning after falling asleep next to him because he moved. He's amazing beyond words.

2) Yzza Sophiya Asistido.

I met her at a ReachOut camp sort of thing for R U OK day. We spent 3 days, 2 nights at Collaroy with 10 or so other people. My first memories of her include adding her on facebook and automatically clicking with pick up lines and her getting us to watch a video of a guy singing, where the main focus in the video was this woman with really ugly hands. She's amazing too.

2011-11-15T15:00:00.002+11:00

Day 180: What is the most inspiring book you have read?

The drowning

Day 181: How did you spend your last birthday?
I don't remember, I was at school.

Day 182. Why do you think people are so addicted to facebook/tumblr?
Because we're human, and we feel the need to broadcast our lives and emotions to everybody in existence, while having to need to question and find knowledge about everything.

Day 183: You are told you have one week left to live, how do you spend it?

I'd just kill myself.

It occurred to me last night that, apparently, I have super powers.

-Insert drumroll here- I'm invisible.

I'm done.

2011-11-12T17:09:00.000+11:00

Burn in hell.

2011-11-11T11:11:00.002+11:00

11:11:11 11/11/11

I wish that everyone I know has a good life, stays safe and happy.

2011-11-09T23:01:00.003+11:00

Day 178: A goal you have this weekday.

To not die in the ridiculous heat.

Day 179: How do you feel about discrimination?

I don't, it shouldn't happen.

I'm halfway through 4 seasons of House, and I don't have a life. Also fuck you Hornsby, for installing air-con right after we leave. Fuck you.

2011-11-08T13:40:00.001+11:00

Day 177: Something you’re proud of in the past few days.

Have not burst into tears.

I need to return my school books. They weigh about 5kg+.

2011-11-07T23:12:00.001+11:00

Day 176: Do you enjoy cooking?

No, not really.

We decided that we're going to save up for a Ferrari. I'm so fucking excited.

2011-11-06T23:35:00.001+11:00

I don't want you to leave me for the next month.

2011-11-06T13:35:00.002+11:00

Day 174: How do you think you’re going to act like in 10 years?

Who knows.

Day 175: Songs you listen to when you’re happy.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I'd show you my itunes list but I'm still sorting it.

2011-11-05T13:05:00.002+11:00

I'm going to cut down 9000 songs to 5000.

A little bit of good luck, please?

And a rediscovery of Son Of Dork. Brb, indulging in my past.

If the universe is a place that we call home
why should we believe that we're here on our own?
Is there anyone here without doubt in their mind?
Is there anyone too blind to open their eyes?
Realise
We're not alone, we're not alone

2011-11-04T22:31:00.002+11:00

Today I had Sushi train with the boyfriend, and I'm typing this lying like a fat lion on his bed. I've sent my formal dress to be altered and helped him return his school books after accompanying him to the doctors to get a flu vaccination. He's adorable.

Day 172: What kind of person attracts you?

Someone smart.

Day 173: Is there something you laugh at every time it happens?

Every time I see this picture of the Asian aging process from Tumblr.

2011-11-02T18:53:00.001+11:00

FUCK YES, time to party hard.

Jokes.

I also had the sweetest time today, it was sort of a date. The only difference between this and a date was probably the fact I was with my sister, not Tom. Anyway, we went Starbucks, walked around and took Caps because she'd never taken them before. I also won 2 Gloomybears, first go on a claw machine. I'm loving life atm.

Day 171: One famous guy you would marry in an instance.

I'm not interested in famous people. I already decided I'm going to marry Tom.

2011-11-01T18:13:00.002+11:00

I FINISH TOMORROW.

Day 169: What is your life motto?

That I won't leave this Earth without making my mark.

Day 170: What is something you notice throughout high school?

Everyone's a fucking bitch.

Also, you're a cunt. An immature, desperate, cunt.

2011-10-30T20:44:00.004+11:00

Day 168: How do you feel about cyber bullying?

It shouldn't be done.

It's halloween tomorrow and I'm sick to death of sugar.

2011-10-29T12:49:00.004+11:00

Day 167: Funniest movie you have ever seen?

Paranormal activity 1 because it was the biggest joke, hence why it was funny. I remember watching it with Hoon. I pretty much fell asleep while he sat there.

I have 2 more exams to go and they'll be done in 4 days.

I think that it's sweet that someone posted this on Cheermeup.info

'You have perfect imperfections! If you ever think you are worthless, or anything less than amazing, think again. Maybe I don't know you, but I know that everyone's perfect in their own way and so are you!'

2011-10-28T17:06:00.002+11:00

Day 165: Favorite type of music.

RNB

Day 166: Have you ever had a teacher that changed your life?

No not really.

I love making people feel awkward.

2011-10-26T12:43:00.004+11:00

Day 163: Where is one place you would love to visit?

Canada, for the snow.

Day 164: One thing many people don’t know about you.

Why should I tell something like this? Then people will know and it won't be something not many people know.

My heart hurts, it really hurts.

2011-10-24T17:11:00.005+11:00

Brb, while I shoot myself from the fucking ridiculous amount of absolute shit we have to know and won't be tested on during the 1 and a half hour exam tomorrow for Textiles.

Thank you BOS, thank you so fucking much.

Day 160: Do you go by live, laugh, love?

Nah, I prefer 'Karma's a bitch'.

Day 161: Why is it so much easier being a child, than an adult?

No responsibilities.
Day 162: Highs and lows of this month.

Highs - Living at Tom's once a week, and having him fall asleep on my stomach yesterday afternoon like a cat

Lows - HSC HSC HSC HSC HSC

Fuck this, I'm out of motivation to study for Textiles. Rah rah rah culture this, rah rah rah dying this, rah rah rah son of a bitch isn't replying to me on Skype. Never-mind, he replied.

So I decided that I'm going to have kids and dress them up in animal costumes, especially a giraffe and that I want a flamingo hat. And while I'm just rambling about the updates in my life, I've also started a 'To-Do list' on Tom's phone, where we're just listing everything we plan on doing in the future. Number 1 is 'Get a job', and the list goes on to things like 'Get a WRX and EVO' (so even our cars will look like a couple) and 'Get tattoos' and all that.

My hair was pink for about a day and a half, and now it's black with a strip of pink on the left.

Aaaand, I'm crossing off 2 exams tomorrow.

The weather's insane. I don't like it.

2011-10-22T11:39:00.001+11:00

My heart hurts.

2011-10-21T17:00:00.006+11:00

Today, a fly fell into my cup of orange juice and started swimming.

I drowned that bitch.

Day 153: Do you think the hardest thing is sometimes the easiest thing?

Yes.

Day 154: A moment you felt most satisfied in your life.

I don't know. I'll be satisfied when I fulfill my fortune cookie saying.

Day 155: What is one achievement you are proud of?

I don't know.

Day 156: What is a tv show you enjoy the most?

Omgad, Big bang theory and How I met your mother.

Day 157: Do you like to give or receive?

Give.

Day 158: Would you give up all of your presents one christmas time to help others from other countries?

Yes.

Day 159: What is one thing you love about photography?

It captures the one second that you click and take a photo.

Are you worth your weight in gold?
‘Cause you’re behind my eyelids when I’m all alone
Hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold
You and God both got the guns
When you shoot I think I’d duck

2011-10-20T22:23:00.001+11:00

Newfound love for Pinn Panelle.

2011-10-17T12:20:00.000+11:00

Please, I don't need a relapse now.

2011-10-16T20:46:00.001+11:00

Brb, dying.

2011-10-13T14:24:00.002+11:00

Day 140: How do you feel about people disrespecting their parents?

As long as you apologise afterwards.

Day 141: Someone who fascinates you.

People in general fascinate me.

Day 142: How have you changed in the past 2 years?

You tell me.

Day 143: How important you think education is.

Australia's education system is shit. Other than that, it's probably just as important as eating enough to keep yourself alive.

Day 144: Are you planning on having children one day?

I want to be a MILF and Tom agreed to letting me have kids and dressing them up in cute animal costumes.

Day 145: Is it easy to trust others?

No.

Day 146: Is there someone that makes you happy everytime you see them?

Yes.

Day 147: What do you think about ignorant people?

I don't think about ignorant people.

Day 148: Do you think more about the past, present, or future?

The present.

Day 149: Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?

Love one person.

Day 150: How is your heart lately?
It's still beating.

Day 151: Would you move to a different country to be with the one you love?

Only if i could speak the language.

Day 152: What is one step of action you would take to change the world?

I have no idea.

2011-10-10T14:30:00.001+11:00

Why?

2011-10-06T18:51:00.003+11:00

Please don't talk to me or try find me until after November 2nd. I don't plan on replying any calls, texts, messages on msn/skype or facebook.

'I want to show you I've Changed
I know it took time
But I'm all grown up
I want to show you I've Changed
I know I was crazy
But that happens when you're young and stupid'

2011-10-01T20:51:00.004+10:00

I apologise for taking all my past posts off my blog but I'm going to keep this up for as long as I need to so that the people it's intended for get a chance to read it or have someone link it to them.

This is going to be a long ass post, but please bear with me.

I need this out of my system and I need it out now.

Today, when I woke up I was happy. Genuinely happy.

55 minutes ago, I read through all my past posts for the past year.

This day last year, I was watching the Liar game episode I got off Alex.

The day after, Gillian came over and we watched a movie, had lunch and talked.

Then there was Halloween at Kristie's house.

And then I got a new pacer and my first maxi dress.

I watched Harry Potter 7.

My sleeping patterns got a little worse.

I got through the first assessments for year 12.

On 12/12/ 10, I posted:

"if you're reading this, i need help
i really, need help"

The next day I went to the doctor and got a referral to a psychologist.

I tanked a tragus piercing.

I spent New years with some of the most amazing people I've ever met.

You, you were what started this emotional snowball. This is everything I've kept inside for the past 6 months. Nothing gets better on it's own and you only made me worse. I don't give a fuck, if you have a different view on all this. I want you to fucking see MY point of view. I want you to at least know what you did to me. You fucked me up. I stopped sleeping, I stopped eating, I stopped talking. My weight dropped to 40kg, I developed anxiety, my depression peaked, I started on meds and I turned into someone my parents couldn't deal with.

I never see your facebook without a smiling display picture and I'm sorry but to me, it's a little unfair how you don't know what I had to deal with when you were perfectly happy with everything.

On 12/1/11, I posted:

"i want ad already, why won't you give me them"

I had my first appointment with my psychologist and I asked for antidepressants.

I went out for K and I went to a party that pulled me back into the world of socialising.

I killed my virgin hair with bleach then proceeded to cut it all off.

HGHS year 12 '11 dressed up for JAILHOUSE.

I got my $100 Cross pen and I turned 17.

We got through our second assessment tasks or half yearlies, I can't remember.

You called me a slut in an inbox because I started talking to my friends on facebook again. This is the first time I've had someone call me a slut.

We made an ester in chem which smelled like banana.

I went to KISS and Bondi.

Then I met Tom.

The first person in our group, Yeji, turned 18.

And I started the 365 Day challenge and I'm more than 1/3 way through.

(going to start cutting down the specific dates because I got lazy posting about what happened everyday and all that.

Then I met Yzza Sophiya Asistido.

You were such an unexpected person. Thank you, REACHOUT for bringing us and the other 12 people together. I'm so happy that I've had the privilege to meet someone like you. You're one of a kind.

But most of all, in the past year, we've gone through shit, but we've had things that've been enjoyable. I've spent so much time with amazing people and I've grown closer with everyone.

To have someone say this about you - "You are one of the strongest girls I know, and I think that you're one of those people who can reach the darkest moments, yet still be able to find some hope within themselves in order to pull themselves back out. That is really admirable and I'm honoured to know someone like you :)" is enough to give me hope that it doesn't matter what you're faced with. You'll get through it. And all the problems and people you've dealt with? After a while, it won't matter. All those people who've hurt you? You'll forgive them.

But in the past year, I've realised that;

1) You're never alone, and that people no matter how you distance yourself, they're going to be in your shadows encouraging you the whole way. So thank you Richard Liu, for the past 3 years. Thank you for putting up with all the shit I've said to you, forgiving me every time I've pushed you away and thank you, for being that one person I could tell everything to when I needed someone at the beginning of this year.

And thank you Ann-alysse Tan, for giving me the encouragement to go get help.

2) There will always be reasons to smile, every day. So thank you Michelle Xie, for making me smile every morning, every fucking morning that I've spent with you in rollcall in the past 6 years.

3) There will people who accept you for who you are, Yzza Sophiya Asistido. This girl, is able to point out my flaws and make me proud of them. She gives me hope in every sense and she is more than just a best friend to me.

4) People care. Tom Yan. All the nights that you've spent sleeping here talking to me until 3AM about our problems and everything. You listened. You didn't judge me. You started taking care of me.

Because I woke up in my boyfriend's arms knowing that my future is going to be better than my past.

2011-10-01T14:16:00.002+10:00

Every time I wake up with your arms around me, I know that I'm going to be happy for a long time. But also, when your dad surprises you with new monitors (dual screen) and a new TV antenna, it's like christmas in October.

Day 135: Is change a good thing?

Sometimes, sometimes not.

Day 136: If you were 12 and looked at yourself in the future, would you be happy?

Yes.

Day 137: One of your wildest dreams.
No joke, I really want to eat bear curry.

Day 138: One of the nicest things anyone has said to you?

'You're amazing'

Day 139: Something you can’t wait for.

Tom and I decided we're getting a cat, I'm actually so excited.

2011-09-28T12:27:00.002+10:00

Don't forget to smile, and never give up.

Thank you Dan.

2011-09-27T23:04:00.001+10:00

♥ Tom, because you're just amazing.

2011-09-26T19:44:00.003+10:00

Okay, I'm less of an emotional wreck now and my left arm hurts from a flu shot. I'm not really sure if it's supposed to hurt, but it hurts, probably because I don't like injections and I'm just a paranoid bitch.

Lipsync/Magicale ♥ Morning tea ♥ Clap out ♥ Graduation Mr Phillip's farewell

I'm not going to type a long post that'll bore you because I'm sure any year 12's that read this will be bawling in the back of their minds from the past week. So i'll keep it short and I'll chuck in photos when I can find my camera cord.

To the 125 amazing Hornsby girls, of year 12 2011,
you'll never be forgotten and I'm truly proud to be able to tell everyone about how in the past year we;
All learnt thriller
Dressed up for Jail/Funhouse
Went from ZERO to HEROS
Can spontaneously combust into dance
and turned into a conga line

Took a billion photos of everything, and everyone one

But for the past 6 years, thank you so much for the memories and I wish you all the best for the HSC. Don't worry, expect personalised warm and fuzzies when the HSC is over.

CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING

Once a Hornsby girl, ALWAYS a Hornsby girl.

Day 129: Favorite month of the year and why?

25th December, because I an sing christmas carols all day and not get told off by my family for being annoying.

Day 130: If you were deserted on an island, what would you bring?

I assume we're not allowed to bring boats and planes and all that, so I'd bring a boat building kit.

Day 131: What do you worry about?

Who knows.

Day 132: Do you believe ex’s can be friends?

No.

Day 133: If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret, what would you do?

A million dollars, because there is nothing in life that you should regret.

Day 134: Do you have a reason to smile right now?

Yes.

2011-09-23T20:13:00.001+10:00

You're so fucking thick...

2011-09-23T01:35:00.001+10:00

I'll post about graduation when I'm not so much of an emotional wreck with puffy eyes.

2011-09-20T18:28:00.001+10:00

I'm currently in the process of writing about 120+ messages for the year 12, HGHS '11.

2011-09-20T00:26:00.002+10:00

Day 127: Do you believe in second chances?

Yes, because no one is perfect and if you fuck up once, who's to say you can't try again?

Day 128: What is your life’s purpose?

A fortune cookie I got when I was younger said that I 'won't leave this Earth without making my mark', so I guess that's what I'm here for.

2 things.

Firstly, I can't fucking wait to get out of this shit hole called Hornsby Girls'. Bluntly, I'm going to miss, what? a few of you? The rest? I'm sorry, ciao, I'm never going to talk to you again.

Secondly, I'm motherfucking broke and I need money.

That is all.

2011-09-18T13:50:00.003+10:00

Day 122: Which activities make you lose track of time?
drawing, folding cranes, listening to music.

Day 123: Do you believe teenagers can fall in love?
Love is an emotion, you can't fall into it. But I believe teenagers can feel it as much as other ages.

Day 124: Have you ever had feelings for someone who was seeing someone else?
Maybe, maybe not.

Day 125: Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy?
Yes.

Day 126: Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Not betrayed maybe, but they've abused my trust.

Hey you, where do you get your confidence from? Cause I'd just love to crush it with a piano, just saying.

2011-09-18T02:10:00.001+10:00

I hate you, no really, the both of you, go burn in hell motherfuckers,

2011-09-16T12:53:00.000+10:00

I know that this might not mean anything to you, but compared to my usual 10-20 views per day, this really gives me hope.

I hope everyone at least asked one person if they were okay ♥

And the biggest fucking happy birthday to Chloe Babage, even though I know she doesn't read this. This girl, friends since primary school and just a few weeks ago she called me. We haven't talked to eachother in about 9 years and she's just as amazing as she was when I left Woodland Rd PS.
Party hard, love you lots ♥

2011-09-15T16:44:00.001+10:00

The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. That guy you just made fun of… for crying? His mother is dying. If you are against bullying. --- Save a life. National Suicide Prevention Week ♥

♡ Thursday 15 September, 2011 is R U OK? Day.

What is RUOK day?
It’s a national day of action which aims to prevent suicide by encouraging Australians to connect with someone they care about and help stop little problems turning into big ones.

On that day we want everyone across the country, from all backgrounds and walks of life, to ask family, friends and colleagues: "Are you OK?".

Staying connected with others is crucial to our general health and wellbeing. Feeling isolated or hopeless can contribute to depression and other mental illnesses, which can ultimately result in suicide. Regular, meaningful conversations can protect those we know and love.

-----------------------------------

What to do?

ASK 'ARE YOU OKAY?"
Start a general conversation somewhere private.
Build trust through good eye contact, open and relaxed body language.
Ask open–ended questions to discuss concerns based on their behaviour.

LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Guide the conversation with caring questions.
The more they talk the better. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Don’t rush to solve problems for them. It is better to have a full understanding of the issues.
Listen to the person without judging them as lazy or weak. They are trying to cope as best they can.
Don’t give advice like “cheer up” or “pull yourself together” or “you’ll be right mate”.
It is important to let them know that it is good they are discussing it.

ENCOURAGE ACTION
Summarise the issues and ask them what they plan to do.
Encourage them to take one step, such as see their doctor.
It is essential to follow up. Nothing changes until someone acts.

FOLLOW UP
People who are really struggling often find it difficult to take action. Therefore, it is very important to follow up on how they are going.
Put a note in your diary to call them in one week. If they are desperate, follow up with them sooner.
Ask if they have managed to take that first step and see someone.

For more information or help, visit the REACHOUT website.
www.REACHOUT.com

2011-09-13T01:43:00.002+10:00

I think you should all download this:

DJ Sammy | Heaven 9/11 Remix 2011

Because it's fucking beautiful.

Day 119: Something you hope you never have to do.

See my family pass away.
Day 120: What is your zodiac sign and what do you think it means.

I don't believe the zodiac defines someone.
Day 121: What do you think about stereotypes?

They don't exist.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you. You've taken the time to fucking understand me, try work out why I'm like this and you're trying to help me. You give me hope that I'm going to get better because I know that you have faith in me. Please don't ever leave me.

2011-09-11T17:46:00.000+10:00

And I just finished my UAC application.

2011-09-11T15:24:00.004+10:00

Tell me I'm a wreck - Every Avenue

I guess you never knew me at all

You tell me I'm a wreck
You say that I'm a mess
How could you expect anything less

This song.

N: "I really miss the person I was 4 years ago"

S: "You know, I don't think you're any different from who you were years back. I think you've just stored it in a corner somewhere."

I'm buying myself a bottle of black nail polish next week.

2011-09-10T00:13:00.001+10:00

Day 118: What people in your life inspire you the most?

Everyone inspires me. We're all survivors and it gives me hope.

2011-09-09T15:38:00.000+10:00

I love you to bits and pieces.

2011-09-09T00:35:00.000+10:00

Watching a walk to remember, because I have no life.

2011-09-08T23:36:00.002+10:00

Day 113: Do you believe that if you want something enough you’ll get it?

No, if you want something you have to work for it.

Day 114: Do you like when people are protective over you?

Yes, to an extent.

Day 115: Is it possible to be single and happy?

Yes and no, tbh depends on the person.

Day 116: One guy who means a lot to you.

Tom Yan. Best-friend, boyfriend and future husband.

Day 117: If you were to get a tattoo, what would it look like?

1) No regrets on my wrist in cursive writing

2) Last name in chinese on my back

3) Fleur de lis

4) Lotus flower from Nana

5) Maybe wings or sakura tree

Lesson learnt over the past 2 days:

Don't sleep with contacts in, asdhfdklsjflds.

2011-09-06T12:36:00.001+10:00

OMG LOL HAHAHA I TYPED THIS UP SO LONG AGO AND I KEPT IT IN MY SCHEDULED POSTS, SORRY GILLIAN I WASN'T SICK, IT WAS JUST FROM AGES AGO. BUT YEAH, 50 REASONS TO HAVE SEX YEWWW FROM HIMYM.

50 Reasons to have sex

1 Because you can't get to sleep

2 Make-up sex

3 Break-up sex

4 Your friend just told you about a new position sex

5 Revenge

6 Rebound

7 Paratrooping/Bangin' for room

8 Nothing good on TV

9 Because you're in a hotel

10 Curiosity

11 It's raining

12 It's halftime

13 Diet/exercise

14 Celebrate recent weight loss

15 You finally get the change to show your childhood bed some action

16 Prom night

17 You're already at their place and don't want to move your car

18 Show off new lingerie

19 Celebrate major victory by favorite team and/or political candidate

20 Your chance to do it in a specific location (e.g. airplane, Burger King, bathroom)

21 To prove we're not in a rut

22 Stress relief

23 Just shaved legs

24 Forgot to buy a birthday present

25 "Let's get it on" by Marvin Baye is playing on the radio

26 Celebrating the joy of life after a near-death experience

27 Your one chance with a celebrity

28 Time an egg

29 To avoid cleaning, studying or doing work of any kind

30 She wants to

31 It's cold outside

32 Cheer someone up (pity)

33 Keeping up with the neighbors

34 Your room mate is out of town and you can do it on the couch

35 Some very protected sex to celebrate the fact that I'm not/we're not/you're not pregnant

36 Practice

37 They have air conditioning and you don't

38 Because he/she is from one of the countries you haven't had sex with a person from yet

39 "Damn, your calves look good on those cargo shorts" sex

40 Called/texted the wrong person but she was into it anyway

41 Because she looks like your super hot cousin and this is the closest it'll ever get to being okay

42 Breaking in a new apartment

43 Because he said he loves you and you're not ready to say it back

44 Wingman diving on the friend grenade

45 Your condoms are about to expire

46 It's getting a little hard

47 Miscommunication (Cheetos sex)

48 To reinforce good behavior (such as shaving + dental hygiene)

49 To change the subject

50 Love

2011-09-05T04:11:00.001+10:00

People like you don't deserve to live. Life is a fucking gift and you take it for granted. You and so many others, you take everyone's love and care for granted because it's not from the one you want it to be from. Open your eyes. For fucks sake, life isn't perfect, it will never be fucking perfect. Grow the fuck up and learn to get over things that knock you down. So what if you get knocked down once in a while, you're better than that and you can dust your self off and pick yourself up.

You think it's easy for me to say all this? No, fuck you. I still relapse. I'm typing this at fucking 4:60 AM. Why? Because you were being an insensitive little fuck and your words triggered my insomnia.What am I supposed to do when someone completely crushes my hope and spirit? I fucking get up and get over it, because I'm better than that and you don't have the fucking right to make me feel like shit because you're the one with problems. I'm better than that and you're not worth my time.

I'm fucking done with people like you.

2011-09-04T20:33:00.000+10:00

Hello, new blogger interface. Apologies, I don't like you. You're too hard to get around and work out, but you see, I can't even work out how to change you back to the old one.P.S. Took me about 5 minutes to figure out how to publish this post.

2011-09-03T18:11:00.002+10:00

Day 109: If you were a super hero, what kind of powers would you have?

I'd want wolverine claws.

Day 110: Something that makes you happy.

Chocolate.

Day 111: Do you wish upon 11:11 even if it may not come true?

Yes, because it doesn't matter if it doesn't come true. I have wishes and hope that one day that they'll be answered and come true.

Day 112: What is the most important part in a relationship?

Trust and honesty.

2011-09-02T16:39:00.003+10:00

Jokes, I lost my train of thought, so new post.

Guess fucking what? I started planning for RUOK day, yeah I've been lazy and a bit behind but it's sort of exciting that I'm doing something for the school for once. I even bothered handing in my references form.

And because none of the above is even near significant,

Happy 19th birthday Daniel Yu and Beto Fernandes.

I've known you both for so long and you've both taken care of me so much over the past 5 years. I love you both to bits and pieces and I hope that you enjoy today. ♥

2011-09-01T22:37:00.002+10:00

Hello, Spring.

I'll update this later.